Seven Samurai 20XX: The worst game I have ever played

By WorldDude

I’ve been planning on making this post for quite a while, but here it finally is. Remember a little PS2 game called Seven Samurai 20XX? Not many people do. Nobody bought it, and within a month of its release it was in the bargain bin at most game stores. An old friend of mine thought it would be a GREAT idea if he bought me a copy for cheap, since I love Kurosawa’s classic film Seven Samurai and all. Let’s just say he is no longer my friend.

Below is a video that just shows the basic horror of why this game is not only bad, it also pisses all over Kurosawa’s grave. If this video is not enough to convince you of how horrible this game is, then you may read on.

Random note 07: Why do people like Lost Planet 2?

By WorldDude

I have to know. Having played this game about a week ago with a couple of friends, I just don’t understand the appeal. Keep in mind, I’m not the biggest fan of Lost Planet in the world. I thought the first game was average at best, but at the time, it was saved by a very fairly  solid multiplayer component. It hasn’t aged well at all, mind you, but when it first came out, it worked. Lost Planet 2 does away with the strong story focused single player and instead is heavy on co-op. This should have been a good thing, right?

The biggest disappointments and worst games of 09

Although 2009 was far from the best year in video game history, it did have a lot of strong titles. And also a lot of overhyped titles. And let’s not forget to mention a lot of games that looked bad from the beginning, and turned out even worse. Instead of focusing on the best of 09 right now, I’m going to briefly talk about the five biggest disappointments of the year, as well as the worst game I have played this year. Should be fun!

Rag Doll Kung Fu: The game in a few paragraphs

Rag Doll Kung Fu: Fists of Plastic is a downloadable fighting/party game for the Playstation Network, and it was originally priced at $10. The game is in the same vein as…a Smash Bros., as a fighting game that isn’t exactly meant for competitive play. It’s meant to be a basic 2D brawler that will not last a long time, but as a game that is meant to be returned to every so often for another match. This week, it’s completely free of charge for absolutely no reason at all, so of course I decided to check it out. And I feel sorry for everyone who paid $10 for it.

The game is a basic brawler in which you control a very uninspired “rag doll” of sorts and fight against other bland looking rag doll characters. You have a basic moveset, and a few items to throw/use, but generally that’s about it. The game has no real online component, and the multiplayer is local only. As for anything single player related, you’re stuck with a few challenges that get repetitive very fast. What you’re left with is a game that is, in all honesty, very boring, even with friends.

So, it’s a boring game, but what else could be wrong with it? The controls are pretty bad. The game feels floaty, and the controls are never very responsive. It makes the entire game move at a very strange and oddly slow pace. Nothing feels fluid at all, and I can’t imagine trying to do anything serious with this game. It feels like an unfinished beta for some kind of Smash Bros. cash-in, only replacing the memorable Nintendo characters with some generic rag dolls that all look almost the same.

I know this is a free game, but I don’t think it’s worth taking up the space to download it. I really do feel sorry for anyone who spent any amount of money on this game. If you really are curious about this game, check it out while it’s still free. But it’s kind of hard to see anyone playing it for more than 15 minutes. It really is.

Ninja Blade: Pressing one button is fun

I played Ninja Blade a little more than a week ago, but I feel like now is the appropriate time to actually write about it. Ninja Blade, while is really does want to be the next great action adventure title, falls short on so many levels for one very good reason. Now, you may like quick time events, but I guarantee even the most patient gamer will be frustrated by the fact that the majority of the game requires you to press a single button at a specific time. We’re off to a great start already guys!

Watchmen: The End is Nigh…more like…Watchmen: Bad game

To celebrate the release of the excellent film adaptation of Watchmen, I’m going to talk briefly about my limited experience with the first part in a series of downloadable Watchmen games. This game is titled Watchmen: The End is Nigh, and it’s available now on Xbox Live Arcade and the Playstation Network for a hefty $20. The question I now ask myself…is it worth the money? Not at all! Even if it were $10, I’d say to skip this cheap beat ‘em up.

For those lonely guys: Onechanbara

Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad was released a couple of weeks ago, and I finally had the “privilege” to play it myself. And the result? The worst 360 game I’ve ever played. And yeah, some my my previous worst games for that system were Bomberman Act Zero, Two Worlds, and Operation Darkness, all of which were my least favorite games of their respective year of release. Onechanbara is one of the very few games that would get a 1/10 from me, if I were to rate a game on that scale.

Bungie, the developers of the Halo series and…Oni? What?

Yeah, Bungie developed Oni, the anime inspired third person shooter that barely works. And when it does work, it’s kind of boring. There are some legitimately fun moments in the game, but they are all overshadowed by the fact that the game is buggy and pretty much terrible in all respects. I was never a big fan of Bungie to begin with, the Halo series is incredibly overrated, but this just gives me more of a reason to dislike Bungie.

Eternal Poison: How not to make an SRPG

Eternal Poison is, simple put, a gameI regret wasting $30 for. Eternal Poision is a Strategy RPG for the PS2 that seemed very promising, especially at an Amazon discount with a free artbook, but it definitely makes me wish I never added it to my collection in the first place. Lucky for me, I’m almost finished with it.

Point and click adventure games: The good, the bad, and the stupid

Point and click adventure games are still around today, surprisingly enough, but aside from popular titles such as Myst, the genre has never truly been able to survive much in this industry. I’m going to talk about a few good (well, great), bad, and downright stupid point and click adventure games that I remember either playing or seeing someone else play…or both really. Let’s take a look back at a genre of games that most people didn’t care about!