I was going to do this in January, but I was inspired by a friend’s recent decision to buy one of the games on this list, so I might as well do it now. Keep in mind, there are a couple of games I haven’t played that could make this list. So don’t worry, Sonic Unleashed may still make it! (oooh burn)
#5: Silent Hill Homecoming (360/PS3)
Normally I would post a video and maybe a screen shot or two of each game when I do a list like this, but I will avoid doing so with these games. It’s for the children! Anyway, the fifth game on my list was tough, because I had a couple of games in mind, but the more I played and generally thought about Silent Hill Homecoming, the more I absolutely hated it. Let me also say that there is a HUGE gap between this game and the other four on the list, as some people could find some enjoyment out of it, but most won’t, even the hardcore Silent Hill fans may turn away.
The story is awful, and they like to include things (mainly enemies) from Silent Hill 2, such as Pyramid Head, when they feel completely out of place in this game. All of those creatures dealt with James Sunderland and what was going on inside of his head. And now Mr. main character we don’t care about sees them too? There was a point to James’ visions and the enemies in Silent Hill 2, they made sense, and they just feel completely out of place in this new game.
The gameplay? Oh yeah, this is a game after all. A new team is in charge of the development here, an American team, and from there that’s where everything goes downhill. The new combat system makes me miss the old sluggish controls of the previous games. And despite a couple of bright (or should I say dark EH OH EL) spots in this game, such as the atmosphere of the different areas, there isn’t too much good going on in this game. Everything just doesn’t feel like Silent Hill, and if you take away that name, what you are left with is a poor man’s Silent Hill; a game that feels like an imitator, the alternative to the cheap cereal your mom would buy you as opposed to the good stuff you see advertised on TV. That’s Silent Hill Homecoming, and it’s a big bowl of mush and blah.
#4: Turok (360/PS3)
Oh man, where do I begin? Turok 2 on the N64 was a pretty damn good game, and while it was no Goldeneye or Perfect Dark, it stood out to me as one of the better shooters out for that system. Since then, we’ve gotten nothing but crap and more crap from the series. I hate whatever development team decided to just make a game with the same main character, the same dinosaurs, but then throw all of that down the toilet and attempt to plunge it back out. What’s left? The watered down and generic corpse of a once great series.
The big problem deals with the controls, more specifically, the aiming. It’s WAY too sensitive. And guess what? There is absolutely NOTHING you can do about it but just shoot in the general direction of your enemies and hope you manage to hit them. It’s so bad in fact that it makes certain sections of the single player nearly unplayable. And the game is difficult, but that’s not a bad thing; at least it wouldn’t be if you could AIM WHERE YOU WANTED TO! The enemies are pretty dumb as well, but they take an unrealistic amount of gun fire, so they can blindly charge at you and still manage to win. And no, I’m not talking about the dinosaurs, there are human enemies as well; the dinosaurs definitely act like dinosaurs.
Oh yeah, there is multiplayer, if you want to call it that. I call it: throw eight players in a circle and give them guns, whoever can shoot in random directions and be the last one standing wins. Oh yeah, they put dinosaurs in the multiplayer as well to “spice” it up, but they will most likely kill you more often than any other human player will. So, is there anything good to say? The game looks kind of nice. Yeah…
#3: Golden Axe: Beast Rider (360/PS3)
“Let’s turn Golden Axe into a boring hack-n-slash, but add lots of violence…for the kids!” Uhh, no. Sega, I love ya, but come on…who actually thought this would turn out good? Let me rephrase, who actually thought this would even turn out just okay? Come on guys, I can’t believe what you did to one of my favorite Genesis and Arcade franchises. I mean, I understand the need to revisit every single old series you haven’t already destroyed, (Vectorman, be careful, you may be next) but this is a bit unnecessary.
I wouldn’t be as mad if the game was just another generic “let’s mash buttons and kill everything on the screen” kind of game. Those could be fun, probably with a large amount of some kind of illegal substance. But what do we have here? Bad camera angles? Terrible hit detection problems? Annoying controls? Oh the glitches, those are the best. I remember trying to move my character, but she just kept running towards the lower right corner of the screen, like she was stuck, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I swear…it was like she was trying to escape from the game. Trust me, I’d feel the same exact way, except I probably would have killed myself by that point.
#2: Turning Point: Fall of Liberty (360/PS3)
Copy and paste everything I said in my Turok rant, except remove the dinosaurs, and replace them with glitches and bad graphics.
#1: Operation Darkness (360)
I love Atlus. They bring over some of the best games to the good old U.S.A. and we discover many games that we may not have even heard of previous without the help of this amazing company. But sometimes, just sometimes, they bring over a game that is so bad, you regret Atlus even existing in the first place. Oh yeah, that bad.
I could use italics all day long to help explain just how bad this game is, but I won’t, I’ll actually use logical reasoning. Let’s start with the premise: It’s in World War II, and the Nazis are zombies and vampires. Okay, I’M SOLD! And yet, the developers somehow managed to screw this up so badly…oh so badly. I guess making a strategy RPG out of it was a bad start, but I guess I can always turn to Call of Duty: World at War for my zombie Nazi shooting range.
First, the battle maps are too big. I understand they were trying to make it feel like a large scale battle, but…when you have maybe six allies, and about ten enemies, all scattered around on a map that could easily fit fifty…then you have some problems. This makes some parts of the game practically unplayable, since you have to keep an eye on all of your men, and some of them, if they die, will end the mission completely. So if you have to split your party up, have fun moving the annoyingly slow (and too close to the ground) camera around the battlefield to find everything. It sure is fun!
Also, the game just doesn’t work a lot of the times. Commands I issued to men just won’t happen, and sometimes some of my troops will just disappear completely from the map, and yet it would say they are still alive. Uhh…that’s great. Plus, the missions are WAY too long, with absolutely no check points. So close to the end, yet are killed right before you achieve the final objective? Back to the beginning for you!
I really could go on, I could write a book about the problems this game has, but I won’t. I can, however, safely say that this is the worst Xbox 360 game I have ever played. It makes Bullet Witch and Bomberman Act Zero look like Grand Theft Auto IV and Fallout 3. If you’re an absolute Atlus crazed fanboy who needs to buy EVERY game they bring to the States, no matter what, go for it. But don’t open it, don’t play it, don’t even look at it after you buy it. Put it in a box, and keep it hidden from everything. You’ll still own the game, but you just won’t have to be embarrassed about it.